a little rusty

sunshine wouldnt be special
if it wasnt for rain
joy wouldnt feel so good
if it wasnt for pain
everynight i talk to god
but he says nothin back
so im left here all alone
to pick up all my own slack
like a needle to a thread
i sew up all my dirt
i put pieces back together
but it continues to hurt
wheres the hand that soothes me
like a shelter from the shame
ive run through all the stages
and all of its the same
so one day i will be me
and stand up on my own
question is will she be there
to help me make my home

inspiration will remain nameless
  • Current Music
    Damien Marley - Welcome to Jamrock

(no subject)

Here in the clouds where the darkness meets,
Down in the fire where the demons feast,
A girl isn't a girl but the end of the world.
In white dress with her dark black hair,
Bright green eyes and an unavoidable stare.
Diamonds on her left hand and gun in her right,
Little baby makes things happen tonight.

We sit and we tremble watching her move,
click - click - click and then boom.
Hollow points all broken up in my chest,
Dreams of my family laying me to rest.
I have been to heaven and I have been to hell,
I have talked to God and Satan as well.
Both made me offers hard to resist,
Only Satan will let me go get that kiss.

Stone faced in a pool of red,
In disbelief thought I'd never be dead.
So I guess its time that I made up my mind,
Where do I want to be for the remainder of time.
Do I want to hear choirs singing?
Or hear the sound of my own heart bleeding?
An eternity of nothing gone wrong?
I'd rather have a chance to bring the seductress along.
  • Current Music

(no subject)

staring back in the mirror,
watch me scream at you self.
eyes well up with tears,
as i selfishly scream for help.
a burden off your chest,
turns into a knife in your back.
laying a trouble to rest,
can fade your sunrise to black.
an escape sounds so nice,
a new start would be alright.
what will it take to show im sorry,
anything im willing to do it.
what is it you want?
an arm? A leg? my heart on the floor?
lower then hell is as low as i am,
on the same level as the devil,
is where i remain.
here is my secret straight from the heart,
one you'll never hear leave my lips.
i know the way fastest way out of here,
it can be reached by gun, by knife, or even a sip.
only smiles are falling from the plant,
a short lived vacation.
im here to see about a lady,
that keeps me from my other destination.
  • Current Music
    Young Dru - V - Town

the struggle part 1

Letting you in on all the secrets,
in the dark of your heart is where you'll keep it,
trumping on fingernails of those at your feet,
numb to the feel of their cry and their weep.
Like the chilling words of your long lost lover,
the girl from a world with nothing above her,
sentimental pieces at a funeral procession,
let the little girls know that love is no longer in session.
i bleed in my lungs after gasping for you,
i gasp and i bleed until my face turns blue,
clinging on to what we were in the past,
how long can our battered devotion last?
  • Current Music
    Mac Dre - stupid doo doo dumb

dying not dead

lets get in a line,
in a line to die tonight.
hold my hand,
everything is gonna be alright.
don't stop me tonight,
tonight is the night it ends.

im bleeding, im bloody, i bled.
so warm against my body.
im bleeding, im bloody, im dead.
so cold against my body.

you keep me here,
here for years,
let go of my hand,
let me make red seem clear.
pretty baby kills me,
tonight is the night im killed.

im bleeding, im bloody, i bled.
so warm against my body.
im bleeding, im bloody, im dead.
so cold against my body.

dont worry pretty baby,
you'll see me again.
after all pretty baby,
you're the reason im dying,
and the reason im not dead.
  • Current Music
    T.I. - bring em out

little princess

mask like im everything,
reality im nothing.
you lost me for days,
you're not even bluffing.
a smile on your face,
like everythings perfect.
saddest part is,
i wasn't even worth it.
look at the little queen,
all up on her throne.
watching the bloodshed,
as it carries out to her tone.
but dont fret little one,
you'll see what you've lossed.
ill be what was real,
and only time can tell.
i wish you could feel,
what it feels like in hell.
so put your tears away,
save them for the next show.
let the music play,
and lets watch me die slow.

goodnight little princess.
i'm gone.
  • Current Music
    The Chariot - good night my lady and a forever farewell


Oh look how we dance,
through this painful trance,
Like a symphony of solution,
to the demons within.
An ounce of anger,
is to an ounce of blood,
As her gentle lips,
to were my troubled soul.
I toil in twilight,
while you run the show,
You entertain the masses,
as I am dying below.

Please pretty baby, let go of my throat.
Please, Please, Please.
Please pretty baby, let me let go.

What was once unique,
and hidden between,
is killing me slowly,
stop causing a scene.
Just watch as it happens,
the way the blood trickles down,
its like poetry in motion,
nobody makes a sound.

Please pretty baby, let go of my throat.
Please, Please, Please.
Please pretty baby, let me let go.

It could be different,
I would bleed for you,
but this is your preference,
So I bleed til` blue.
Do you feel it?
When we dance.
Do you feel it?
When we made love.

Keep your chin up,
It's only me.
  • Current Music
    The Bled - F is for forensics


This world is a marketplace full of selfish consumers, people live like its farfetched to consider one another. People who claim to care about on another really don't. Everyone is just trying to market themselves as a product. A product which everyone believes they have the best. Why does everyone think so highly of themselves when it is so obvious to everyone else they are worthless. However there are a few people in this world with real hearts, people who are willing to consider someone else before themselves. In this retail line we call life every decision you make is a PR move for yourself, and in most cases you try to appeal to the masses instead of say your most loyal customer. Whats the point of impressing one person who has been loyal to you when you can impress 10 people that you haven't really known for very long. How popular do you want to be? This isn't the smalltime anymore, you need to think numbers, fuck the small stuff. That one person who really cared about the "product" you are becoming is just one person and in the end you are thinking much more mainstream. Just to make yourself feel great you keep them hanging onto you for as long as possible though, with lies and talk that makes them feel comfortable giving your product another chance. This is the marketing machine we call life and I am not worth very much. Can't say it doesn't bother me though, guess I'll just keep looking for that real heart. In the meantime people please don't act like you care.

rags to nothing

i'm writing to apologize,
for all that we were.
the way we burned,
the way we loved,
not a moment was secure.
dont blink now,
it'll disappear so fast.
remember me for what i was,
not for who i couldnt become again.
we took our time,
we made our moves,
but now we're left in ruin.
but you'll be fine,
it can't break you,
after all aren't you perfection?
the times were nice,
memories can't suffice,
i was dealt by seduction.
  • Current Music
    Mae - Embers to Envelopes